I’d like to make it quite clear from the outset that this blog is a complete pack of lies from start to finish and I want no further part in it.

Well, ok, I suppose I’ll have to admit that some of the events might have a grain of truth in them.

Oh, alright… all of the events, settings and medical details are truthful and actually happened in the way they’re described. But the characters are all one complete, enormous, giant, pants-on-fire fib and I think you should be told.

You see, Smiley and me have a great relationship but a bit of a communication problem – well, I suppose I have a bit of a communication problem full stop – but however clever he thinks he is at portraying what I’m thinking and putting words into my mouth, he can’t possibly know everything that’s going on in my head.

Can he?

Besides, he says I’m an ‘unreliable narrator’.

Takes one to know one I say.