Ok, even I’ll admit that this is pretty gross, so anyone of a squeamish disposition should stop reading now…

Still with me? Oh well, don’t say you weren’t warned.

I once ate a balloon. It was one of those long ones shaped like an enormous, thin, curly sausage. That’s not so unusual in itself, I’ve heard of lots of kids who’ve eaten a discarded, deflated balloon that they’ve found lying about on the floor.

The impressive thing is that when it was retrieved (with a great show of consternation) from the contents of my nappy, this one still had air in it.

So the question is, just how much air did it have in it at the time I ate it? Could I really have swallowed it fully inflated? It’s an interesting picture isn’t it?

I’ll never tell.